Can I have some time, Dad?

Of all the character traits that could best describe a father, there's one word that to me, stands above them all, it's... "relationship"! Sure, being a responsible leader and a good provider should be characteristic of a good dad, but those just seem rather pointless without a relationship. Good relationships say so much about the strength of a family.

Growing up, I longed for a relationship with my dad. He was a good provider- a very hard worker. He always took care of our family, providing the necessities for a modest life. There were certain things I just knew I could depend on. Unfortunately, time apart with just him wasn't one of them. We never had any of those father and son talks.

I knew deep down my dad loved me, but it wasn't until I was in my mid-twenties that I began to understand why he didn't express it. He lost his dad when he was quite young- maybe 6. He was the youngest of several kids, more than 10 that I can remember. It was his mother and other siblings who'd raised him. He never got to know a dad's love and friendship, and so he didn't understand how to have that relationship. As a result, he had a hard time being close with not only us kids- there were five of us- but with my mom, as well. I can't remember a single time my dad said he loved any one of us!

Looking through the Father's Day greeting cards this year trying to find one for a father figure in my life, I couldn't help but overhear a young lady as she spoke on her cell phone. As we picked through the cards together, I heard her tell how poor her relationship was with her dad and that they were never really close. Was the card she selected an effort to connect or just an obligation? I'll never know. I do know however, I've heard that comment about a poor relationship all too often. It's sad, but it can change.

As father's we need to give effort toward developing those essential relationships/ friendships while we still have opportunity. My dad has since passed away. I'll never have another chance to give him a hug or tell him I love him or sit with him and talk. I've determined however, not to let that be said by my boys. I will take time.

How would you describe the relationship you've had with your father?

What made them the Best?

We can all name at least a couple of favorite teachers we had growing up. We can probably even recall some of the details about why they were so influencial or even some of the things they taught us. But what was it that left them standing above the crowd of other teachers we had? Although there are probably as many reason as great teachers, there are some noteworthy clues as to why certain ones leave such lasting impressions.

First, it has to be because they knew how to connect. They knew what it took to get into our world, and how to draw us into theirs. Instead of distancing themselves with their intellectual prowess, they came to our level- they spoke our language. A lot of teachers have plenty to say, but haven't learned the fine art of connecting. As a result, powerful words are left lying on the floor because someone didn't take the time to connect.

Secondly, they generated enthusiasm. Nothing like a monitone dialogue to aid ones sleep deprevation. They made the subject interesting because they themselves were interesting! They used creative ways to communicate some of the most difficult or boring of subjects. We wanted to hear what they had to say, because we wanted to see what they had to say.

They showed students respect. Sure, some of those teachers were old enough to be our parents, and therefore should have been shown respect. But they treated us like we were one of their peers. That didn't mean they'd forfeited control. Quite the contrary, they were very much in control. Because of the respect they show us, they earned our respect.

Lastly, they were relatable. They were within reach. The distance between us and them seemed short. There was a trust and you felt safe to share what was really on your mind- even at times, personal issues. You felt like they really cared and maybe that's what made them so unique. They weren't in this for themselves, they were in it for us. And you could feel it!

Are your students calling you one of their favorite teachers? If not, what can you do to improve you connectivity?